


Group Chatting

by castleshadows



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Crack, Crossover, Drunk Texting, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Multi, No Plot/Plotless, One Shot Collection, Slow Burn, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27351304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castleshadows/pseuds/castleshadows
Summary: A Group Chat fanfiction. Just a series of one-shots really, besides the occasional character and romance development.
Relationships: Aedion Ashryver/Lysandra, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn, Amren/Varian (ACoTaR), Andromache/Morrigan (ACoTaR), Asterin Blackbeak/Sorrel Blackbeak, Chaol Westfall/Yrene, Elain Archeron/Azriel, Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre, Fenrys/Vaughan (Throne of Glass), Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Lucien Vanserra/Vassa, Manon Blackbeak/Dorian Havilliard, Nesryn Faliq/Sartaq, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 13
Kudos: 61





	1. The Powerpuff Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aelin: firebreathingbitchqueen  
> Chaol: chaolwestfall  
> Dorian: magicman

**_firebreathingbitchqueen added chaolwestfall to chat_ **

**_firebreathingbitchqueen added magicman to chat_ **

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** heyyy!!

**chaolwestfall:** Hello.

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** ew grammar 

**magicman:** hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 

**chaolwestfall:** Do you have to put so many Is? 

**magicman:** yes chaol it is necessary i put so many Is… i wouldn't expect you to understand

**chaolwestfall:** Ok then… Aelin what is this chat for?

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** for fun… duh!

**magicman:** yeah! duh! 

**_chaolwestfall left the chat_ **

**_firebreathingbitchqueen added chaolwestfall to the chat_ **

**_chaolwestfall left the chat_ **

**_firebreathingbitchqueen added chaolwestfall to the chat_ **

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** dont you dare try and leave again or ill come to your apartment and tie you down 

**magicman:** oooo kinky!

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** istg dorian 

**magicman:** fine fine sorry lol 

**chaolwestfall:** I hate you all. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** no you dont

**magicman:** you really love us

**magicman:** your just scared of being vulnerable so you lock your feelings deep inside and pretend your all manly and shit but really you just want to be loved 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** … 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** oop 

**chaolwestfall:** It’s you’re not your. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** of course that’s the first thing he notices about that surprisingly deep paragraph 

**chaolwestfall:** That wasn’t a paragraph, it was a poorly punctuated sentence.

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** whatever fancy man 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** alright bitches what should we name the chat

**_chaolwestfall changed the chat name to_ ** Friends ****

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** chaol that is literally the worst chat name ive ever seen in my life

**_magicman changed the chat name to_ **chaol sucks at naming things

**chaolwestfall:** Hey!

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** LOL!!!!

**_magicman changed the chat name to_ **im sorry chaol 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** awwww ): 

**_firebreathingbitchqueen changed the chat name to_ **Powerpuff Girls 

**magicman:** ooo which powerpuff girl am i??? 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** bubbles 

**magicman:** the emotional one???

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** you cried during a dogs purpose 

**magicman:** … 

**magicman:** but the dog died four times! FOUR TIMES!!!! 

**chaolwestfall:** You still cried though. A lot. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** chaol guess which powerpuff you are!!

**chaolwestfall:** I wouldn’t know. I’ve never watched it. 

**magicman:** what!!!

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** ^

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** why the hell not!

**chaolwestfall:** I didn’t even know it existed until today. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** hold on 

**chaolwestfall:** Ok??

**chaolwestfall:** Who's knocking on my door?

**chaolwestfall:** Aelin, get off my couch. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** no 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** hey dorian do you wanna come watch powerpuff girls with us

**magicman:** do i? DO I??

**chaolwestfall:** I don’t know… do you? 

**magicman:** YEEESSSSSSSSS 

**magicman:** I’LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!

**chaolwestfall:** Wait no!! 

**_magicman went offline_**

**_firebreathingbitchqueen went offline_**

**chaolwestfall:** shit 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chaol is blosson if you hadn't guessed already lol


	2. Shutup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day damn. I really should be doing NaNoWriMo right now, but I'd honestly rather do this. Three new characters in this one. 
> 
> Aedion: aedionash  
> Lysandra: lysandraishot  
> Manon: shutup
> 
> Enjoy!

**_firebreathingbitchqueen added aedionash and + 3 others to chat_ **

**_firebreathingbitchqueen changed the chat name to_ ** Aelin’s Court 

**aedionash:** Wait, how come its your court?

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** because i want it to be

**chaolwestfall:** Oh great, not another one. Isn’t the whole Powerpuff Girls chat enough?

**chaolwestfall:** Which I still do not get by the way. Chemical X isn’t even a real chemical and how can anyone be made of sugar and spice and everything nice? It’s a saying!!

**magicman:** dont overthink it chaol 

**lysandraishot:** Ooo this is fun. We’ve never had a gc before.

**aedionash:** Hey Lys, can you grab me some water to.

**lysandraishot:** ofc 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** wait are you guys in the same room?

**aedionash:** No we aren’t… 

**aedionash:** Well now we are. Thanks for the water.

**lysandraishot:** No problem babe. 

**magicman:** hey do you guys mind if i add someone?

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** oooo who is it??

**magicman:** a friend. i met her a couple days ago

**lysandraishot:** HER!!!!!

**lysandraishot:** you have to spill all the tea asap!!!!

**magicman:** there’s really nothing to spill

**magicman:** she looked nice, i said hi, we exchanged numbers end of convo

**chaolwestfall:** This isn’t going to be like Sorscha again, is it?

**magicman:** i’ll have you know sorscha was a perfectly nice human being

**magicman:** it just wasn’t working out 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** i wasn’t aware not working out meant that she cheated on you three times before you got tired of her and dumped her sorry ass

**magicman:** … 

**magicman:** four 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** huh?

**magicman:** she cheated on me four times ):

**aedionash:** Im sorry dude. That sucks.

**magicman:** yeah well it was two years ago

**magicman:** no use crying over it now

**chaolwestfall:** So who's the friend you wanted to add?

**magicman:** her name’s manon

**magicman:** she’d kind of grumpy but really nice once you get to know her, so don’t feel bad if she doesn’t really warm up to any of you

**_magicman added shutup to the chat_ **

**magicman:** hey manon!

**chaolwestfall:** Hello.

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** heeeyyyyy bitchhh

**lysandraishot:** hi2u

**shutup:** wtf is this dorian

**magicman:** its a gc with all of my friends i was telling you about

**magicman:** everyone introduce yourselves please 

**lysandraishot:** hi! im lysandra… im hot lol 

**aedionash:** Damn right you are babe!

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** ew 

**chaolwestfall:** Hello. My name is Chaol.

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** im aelin!!!

**magicman:** and ofc you already know me.. im dorian 

**magicman:** that’s everyone in our little group… what do you think

**shutup:** i think you all need to take my username to heart

**_shutup went offline_ **

**chaolwestfall:** Um...

**aedionash:** Well then. 

**lysandraishot:** Rude. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** … 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** I like her!!!

**magicman:** I know right!!

**chaolwestfall:** You all are weird.

**_chaolwestfall went offline_ **

**_lysandraishot went offline_ **

**_aedionash went offline_ **

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** hey dorian! wanna come over and binge the bachelor 

**magicman:** aw fuck it why not

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** yay!

**_firebreathingbitchqueen went offline_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made Sorscha bad just bc I don't like her very much. This is me being petty lol.


	3. Gandhi Aspires To Be Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter three!! new character today... 
> 
> Rowan: rwhitethorn
> 
> hope you enjoy

**Powerpuff Girls**

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** so dorian is there something you’d like to tell us

**chaolwestfall:** Will you guys please stop texting. My phone keeps buzzing and I’m in the middle of working. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** so just turn off your phone idiot

**magicman:** you could also turn off your notifications that way you could keep your phone on

**chaolwestfall:** Thanks Dorian. At least _someone_ is actually being helpful today.

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** hey!

**_chaolwestfall went offline_ **

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** i am super helpful

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** i am the epitome of helpful 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** in fact i am so helpful that gandhi aspires to be me 

**magicman:** hey aelin 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** yeah??

**magicman:** he left 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** oh 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** oops lol

**magicman:** wait what do i want to tell you

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** wdym?

**magicman:** before chaol started being grumpy you asked me if i wanted to tell you something

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** oh riiiiiiighttt

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** is there??

**magicman:** no??

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** you suuureeee????

**magicman:** what are you getting at aelin

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** a certain grumpy witch told me something very interesting about you two 

**magicman:** ok number one…

**magicman:** stop calling manon a witch 

**magicman:** number two… 

**magicman:** i know what your thinking and we are just friends

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** fine then i guess you dont want to know what she said

**magicman:** no i dont 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** fine

**magicman:** fine

**_firebreathingbitchqueen went offline_ **

**magicman:** i dont want to know...

**magiman:** i dont...

**magicman:** … 

**magicman:** AELIN WAIT!!!!!!

  
  


**Private Message**

**magicman:** hey manon what did you tell aelin 

**shutup:** Dorian stop bothering me im busy 

**magicman:** just answer the question and ill leave you alone

**shutup:** fine, what?

**magicman:** _*sent screenshot*_

**shutup:** i don't know what the hell she's talking about.

**shutup:** sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me

**magicman:** so theres nothing?

**shutup:** no 

**_shutup went offline_ **

**_magicman went offline_ **

  
  


**Private Message**

**shutup:** that's not what i meant by subtle you idiot

**shutup:** you're supposed to be my wingman not a sports commentator 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** well what did you want me to say

**shutup:** I DONT KNOW

**shutup:** play a harmless game of truth or dare of something

**shutup:** ask him if he’d bang me!!!!

**shutup:** don’t just tell him!!!!

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** has he figured it out yet?

**shutup:** no

**shutup:** no thanks to you

**shutup:** _*sent screenshot*_

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** damn he really is clueless 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** hold on aedions texting my court 

**shutup:** it's not your court 

**shutup:** we’re all just too lazy to change the name

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** whatever... we'll talk privately later

  
  


**Aelin’s Court**

**_aedionash_** **_added rwhitethorn to chat_**

**aedionash:** This is Rowan

**aedionash:** He’s my new best friend

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** hey i thought i was your best friend

**rwhitethorn:** We’re not best friends Aedion. We’re regular friends. 

**aedionash:** Rowan used to work with me at the station, but he got sent elsewhere about three months ago. 

**aedionash:** I saw I still had his number in my phone and we’ve been catching up for the past week.

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** oh is that who you were going to coffee with yesterday

**aedionash:** yep!

**aedionash:** _*sent image*_

**aedionash:** Here’s what he looks like in case you're curious.

**rwhitethorn:** Don’t send photos of me. 

**aedionash:** lol good one bro 

**rwhitethorn:** I’m not your bro. 

**aedionash:** right 

**rwhitethorn:** Yes… that is right. 

  
  
  


**Private Message**

  
  


**firebreathingbitchqueen:** omg did you see that picture

**lysandraishot:** yessss 

**lysandraishot:** if i wasn’t dating aedion i would totally bang him 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** im gonna tell aedion you said that

**lysandraishot:** dont. you. dare. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Russian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elide: elide(:  
> Lorcan: lorcanisannoyed  
> Fenrys: wolfieboy  
> Vaughan: vaughanbird 
> 
> enjoy!

**Aelin’s Court**

**rwhitethorn:** I’m adding some friends of mine to the chat if that’s ok with you all. 

**shutup:** ugh is it more loud annoying men 

**rwhitethorn:** Unfortunately. 

**shutup:** well i'm adding my own friend and if you try to say no ill gut you

**aedionash:** Believe me we weren’t planning on it 

**_shutup added elide(: to chat_ **

**_rwhitethorn added lorcanisannoyed +2 others to chat_ **

**aedionash:** Who’s Lorcan? Is he your bro like me

**rwhitethorn:** For the last time Aedion, you aren’t my bro. I don’t have bros and if I did you still wouldn’t be one. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** oooo ouch aedion 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** would you like some burn ointment for that

**rwhitethorn:** You know Aelin... I’m starting to like you.

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** you too buzzard

**rwhitethorn:** Don’t call me that. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** well that just makes me want to do it more

**lorcanisannoyed:** woill yio akl shuy uo 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** oh do you not speak english 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** hold on i got this 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** привет, меня зовут Аэлин, как ты

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** there you go, courtesy of google translate

**chaolwestfall:** Is that Russian? 

**chaolwestfall:** У меня все хорошо

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** show off 

**elide(::** I think it’s just typos actually. 

**elide(::** He said “will you all shut up”

**lorcaninannoyed:** yed tjanl you 

**elide(::** “yes thank you” 

**elide(::** You are very welcome (: 

**wolfieboy:** lorcan’s fat fingers are so big he had trouble typing the little keys

**wolfieboy:** isn’t that right lorcy 

**vaughanbird:** Please don’t bait him. 

**_vaughanbird went offline_ **

**rwhitethorn:** Everyone go around and say your name please.

**rwhitethorn:** And before you ask, yes Lorcan and yes Manon, that does include you two. 

**elide(::** Hello everyone, my name is Elide

**wolfieboy:** your very polite

**elide(::** Thank you!

**wolfieboy:** it’s weird 

**elide(::** Oh um… 

**wolfieboy:** im fenrys by the way

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** im aelin!!

**aedionash:** Aedion

**chaolwestfall:** Chaol. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** did you have to include the period 

**chaolwestfall:** Yes Aelin, yes I did. 

**magicman:** whatd i miss?

**magicman:** oh nvm i caught up

**magicman:** im dorian 

**shutup:** manon

**lorcanisannoyed:** Im npt dpung thso 

**_lorcanisannoyed left the chat_ **

**_rwhitethorn added locanisannoyed to chat_ **

**lorcanisannoyed:** o haye yio 

**elide(::** Oh come on Lorcan you have to stay. It’ll be fun!! 

**lorcanisannoyed:** … 

**lorcanisannoyed:** funw 

**elide(::** Yay!

**lysandraishot:** my name’s lysandra 

**lysandraishot:** im not too late right

**rwhitethorn:** No you’re fine. 

**rwhitethorn:** Hello Elide, I’m Rowan. 

**rwhitethorn:** And everyone, the man who left in such a hurry is Vaughan. He and Fenrys are dating but you probably won’t see much of him. He tends to disappear for days on end. 

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** where does he go?

**rwhitethorn:** No one knows.

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** that sounds lovely 

  
  


**Private Chat**

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** hey rowan?

**rwhitethorn:** Yeah?

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** do you maybe wanna get coffee sometime

**firebreathingbitchqueen:** get to know each other a little bit

**rwhitethorn:** … 

**rwhitethorn:** That sounds great Aelin. 

  
  
  
  
  



	5. Meanwhile in Prythian...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feyre: feyrepaints  
> Rhysand: nighttriumphent  
> Cassian: fearsomewarrior  
> Azriel: shadowboy  
> Morrigan: queenofyouall  
> Nesta: idontwanttobehere
> 
> Finally after five chapters, I've finally worked in some ACoTaR characters. Not sure if I'll combine the two and have them interact or not. We'll have to see...

Meanwhile in Prythian… 

**The Inner Circle**

**fearsomewarrior:** if your leg got cut off… 

**fearsomewarrior:** would it hurt?

**nighttriumphent:** Of course… 

**fearsomewarrior:** how tho

**nighttriumphent:** Because your leg got cut off bro 

**fearsomewarrior:** but where are you gonna feel the pain

**nighttriumphent:** In your leg… 

**fearsomewarrior:** but your leg got cut off… so how are you gonna feel the pain in your leg

**nighttriumphent:** … 

**nighttriumphent:** OHHHH MYYYY GOOOODDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**fearsomewarrior:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**shadowboy:** Actually, by the time you even cut half way through the first leg, without any sedatives, you would already be in shock but it differs between people. The pain would be there as it was getting cut off, though the shock would help somewhat with that. Given your conditions, if the patient doesn't die from sheer pain and remains unnoticed, he/she will die within 1 hour of amputation. This will occur as a direct result of massive bleeding from a lacerated femoral artery. This artery is a main big artery that runs in front of the thigh bone - femur. 1-2 liters of blood will bleed out in a matter of 30-40 minutes. Not to forget, the person is also cutting off the bones. It’s possible that before the completion of amputation plan, he/she will pass out from hypovolemic shock

**shadowboy:** In conclusion, cutting off someone’s leg is useless. It’s better to break the leg bone, and make small cuts as far away from the major arteries as you can get, that way they won’t bleed out and die before you can get any information out of them. 

**shadowboy:** Did that answer your question?

**nighttriumphent:** … 

**nighttriumphent:** I would ask how you know that Az, but I’m not sure I’d like the answer. 

**shadowboy:** Good choice, you probably wouldn’t. 

**fearsomewarrior:** what did you think the question was?

**shadowboy:** I’d rather not say… 

**idontwanttobehere:** so no one cares Azriel knows all that shit!!!!!

**idontwannabehere:** this is why your not allowed near my sister 

**fearsomewarrior:** no ones allowed near your sister Nesta, Az isnt special 

**queenofyouall:** yeah!!! last week i saw them in the store, and went up to say hi, and istg nesta stood in front of elain like a gd barricade the entire time

**idontwannabehere:** i fucking hate you all 

**_idontwannabehere went offline_ **

**nighttriumphent:** I think that’s a new record. 

**nighttriumphent:** Was anyone timing that?

**fearsomewarrior:** she was on the chat for 1 minute 38 seconds and she sent three messages

**fearsomewarrior:** her old one… 

**fearsomewarrior:** 22 seconds and 1 message

**fearsomewarrior:** which was, and i quote “cassian i hate you” 

**feyrepaints:** You all need to stop egging her on.

**feyrepaints:** She’s actually sort of pleasant when she wants to be.

**queenofyouall:** which is almost never

**feyrepaints:** … 

**feyrepaints:** I would defend her, but I’m not sure I can… 

**nighttriumphent:** It’s alright Feyre Darling. It’s not your fault.

**feyrepaints:** Thanks Rhys. 

**queenofyouall:** dont you guys live in the same house?

**queenofyouall:** cant you do your mushy stuff where we dont have to see it?

**nighttriumphent:** I would but I’m not in the house, and I can’t switch group chats while driving, it’s dangerous. 

**feyrepaints:** Rhys

**feyrepaints:** Have you been texting while driving this entire time?

**nighttriumphent:** Uh-huh.

**feyrepaints:** … 

**feyrepaints:** STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**nighttriumphent:** That seemed very aggressive, I think Tamlin has rubbed off on you. Maybe we need to make him your enemy again. I have some gasoline in the garage, and I’d never say no to a good old fashioned burning at the stake. 

**feyrepaints:** Number One… 

**fearsomewarrior:** uh-oh shes started counting

**fearsomewarrior:** RUN RHYS!

**feyrepaints:** Tamlin is my friend. He has apologized for what he did. He is now happy and married to another wonderful woman, whom I am also friends with. 

**feyrepaints:** Number Two.. 

**feyrepaints:** If you get into an accident while texting and driving, I will leave you to rot in the hospital all by yourself. 

**feyrepaints:** No entertainment. 

**feyrepaints:** No friends to help you feel better, because I think I’m speaking for all of us when I say that what you are currently doing is one of the most reckless things you could do, and will not go unpunished. 

**feyrepaints:** Do I make myself clear?

**nighttriumphent:** Yes mom.

**feyrepaints:** … 

**feyrepaints:** You’re sleeping on the couch tonight. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
